Hello

Hi, I am Breanne, and I am a stay at home mom to a crazy 1 year old little girl. I am very proud of the work I do, but that does not mean every day is peaches and cream. Some days are really tough. Some days I want to run far, far away from my house. Though, some days I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Each day is different, and that little girl keeps me on my toes.

I used to teach high school English. I quickly realized that I could not continue working and being a mom. Some women can do it all, but I will admit that I am not that woman. When I made the decision to stay home, I was not sure how things would go. Shortly after I turned in my resignation letter at work and the summer began, I found myself truly questioning the decision to not return to work. Sure, I was not happy at my job. I would not say that I did not enjoy teaching, but I can whole heartedly say I could not continue doing my job.  

I found myself questioning my decision. I got confirmation everywhere I turned, from seeing a therapist (which my husband calls the crazy doctor, no offense) to praying. All signs were pointing me in the direction of leaving. I guess the doubt came in when I began thinking about the next phase. I have worked since I was 16 years old, and now I am 31, meaning I have practically worked for half my life.

You could say that delivering my wonderfully healthy and perfect daughter Saylor on October 3^rd really put my life in a different direction. Yes, I planned her, and though it sounds nutty, I rarely leave anything to chance. I knew I was going to have a child, and I did. I am sure glad God helped make this plan happen. I just did not anticipate how much Saylor would pull at my heart strings. I previously said that I would not be defined as Saylor’s mom, and I went back to work after my leave, but I was miserable. Not to mention, pumping at work is not fun.

I finished the school year, and I just knew that I could not return to teach the next year. I counted down the days to the last day like an anxious child waiting for the much anticipated Christmas morning. Once the day arrived, and I did not have to set my alarm clock, I knew that the day was going to be spectacular. It was not.

All of the visions of sugar plums dancing in my head were quickly pushed aside when Saylor demanded my attention. I traded in the painful leaving this beautiful little girl for someone else to relish in while I taught for a day filled with crying and a billion diaper changes. This idealized life I created was not going as I had planned, so I panicked.

Nothing was going as planned, and I was at a loss. That summer, I went to visit my family. We had so much fun hanging out. Before I left to return home, my mom gave me a bunch of peaches; I’d say she gave me about 20 pounds!

At home, I set the peaches on my counter, and I just stared at them. I had no idea what to do with that many peaches. I mean I love a good peach, but 20 pounds of peaches is a bit much. I decided to make some baby food for Saylor. She loved it. I thought after that successful adventure, I would make something I could enjoy. I made peach salsa, a peach pie, and peach preserves. After I used all of the peaches, I realized that my decision to stay home was the best decision for me at this moment.

I guess the peaches helped me see that at the end of the day, through all the crying and diaper changes, there is really a sweet ending. Seeing Saylor smile after giving me big hugs and kisses makes it worth all the hard work.